Babies and marriage

Children are a rare site - teens are plentiful at the mall even in the middle of the day, but babies are few. My guides say it is too cold - about 30 F - for babies to be outside now. Those I do see are about 2-3 very good at walking about in their snowsuits that make them look like mini Michelin men and women.

When babies cry, they are not immediately comforted but rather stop crying on their own. They are much more independent than their American counterparts and extremely well behaved. As a non parent, it appears the Chinese have the right idea on parenting and are not overprotective like Americans.

In the museum, a boy about 5 was speaking to his father with much emotion I asked what he said. Pointing to a fragile relic, he said in an earthquake this would come tumbling down. His father replied he must stop talking about earthquakes.

My guide said the day of the quake she was at the terra cotta museum in the dark underground part with bronze horses on display - this area was kinda scary for me as it was very crowded and pitch black. I feared losing my guide or being pickpocketed in the push of people - to me it would have been the worst place for a tourist during a quake. My guide said she shouted "out, out" making sure all her group got out as they felt the ground shake. She said with emotion in her eyes it was a scary day.

Back to children...While the one child policy is still in affect, families can pay about 3,000 dollars for an additional child. This may be equivalent to a half years home expenses for those in the city. My guide Kellen who has a 17 month old does not know if they'll have a second, sadly because of the economy and her line of work she does not know if they could afford a second.



Grandparents are the expected caregivers. Peter Pan, in Beijing had inlaws move from Shanghai to live with them when his wife became pregnant. Now, no child expected you could tell it was a point of stress.

At lunch over a vegetarian meal, she shared a story of her three best friends. In her broken yet direct English her story about her best friend could have been me. She said one of her best friends was not yet married, but much admired by friends She had it all it - a good career in Hong Kong - she apparently manages two factories and her wealth - owns three homes - to in Xian, one her parents live in and another in Hong Kong. Kellen said she was attractive and had the most going for her, but worried about not being married. Her friends told her that she will get married when she finds someone that looks like her. Okay the story is not so much me, but the message had meaning.

Ironically, as I was checking out this morning a bride and groom entered the hotel lobby with confetti everywhere. Dressed in a western white big dress and red shiny shoes, he picked her up and carried her over the threshhold to their car. (Remember most Chinese doorways have something you need to step over.) Explosions of confetti and fireworks-fire crackers. Throughout the day touring the city, we'd hear the same noise - only for weddings my guide said.

Kellen explained pictures are taken on Saturday and that because in the lunar calendar being the 26th it was a very lucky day to marry. Brides wear three dresses, first western white, than at the reception a traditional Chinese red and than pink after the dinner. The room I have breakfast in was drapped in pink this morning. Younger generations are having church ceremonies - much to the dislike of elders. Otherwise the wedding day is really just the reception - no ceremony apparently. Not sure if they do vows or when the rings come into play. In China Daily I read about the popularization of American weddings. Its so funny how reading two issues cover to cover it spoke to so many of the themes I'm noticing in culture here.

At airport for Guillin. A little boy just tipped over a metal newspaper stand with a bang. The grandfather did one firm scolding and the child did not cry, but wipped tears. Public shamming plus good parenting at work, much better than the helicopter American style.